While IBM is calling Apache Spark "potentially the most significant Open Source project of the next decade" and internet is still running mostly on Apache httpd the most important project in the foundation could very well be Apache Incubator. After all, without Incubator there will be no exciting new projects joining the foundation and turning into the next Spark or Hadoop. This presentation will cover the old school Incubator polices and will point out how they are changing and what new alternatives are now available for podling communities. It will also focus on areas where we are still experimenting with the process, how it relates to the ASF board of directors and how you can help speed things up. Finally, a few battle stories will be shared and wounds put on display. This former VP of Incubator has a few to show.